Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Perfect Man

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride

The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too.
He'll do anything in his power
To show his love to you.

The perfect man is sweet,
Writing poetry from your name.
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.

He has never made you cry
Or hurt you in any way.
Oh, "to hell with this stupid poem,"
"Cause the perfect man is gay!"

:) :) :)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Sunday Morning Blues

Parag... get up... paani chala jaaega !!

Drat!! Can't even get a nice peaceful nap on a Sunday morning... Mom has to wake me up at 9 am (:O) to send me inside the bathroom... paani chala jaaega?? Damn it !!

That is the one place that I dread a lot... well, not like I am a hydrophobic or anything.. that I would develop a dreadful spasm as I pour water over my sleepy phenotypic self... nor am I averse to keeping myself clean, or a claustrophobic who is fearful of small enclosed spaces.... just that I am pure lazy, on a Sunday morning to enter that 10 x 10 feet enclosure...

The BMC officials should be screwed up royally... Cause they get only Sunday mornings to start their water shortage spree...

As I brush my teeth wearily, I try to open my swollen sleepless eyes cause of last night's Primera Liga matches... Mom has already thrown a fit and has lost it completely... its 9.30 am and I'm still brushing...

24 years old and still behaving like a kid... she tells me... what will you do once you start a family of your own? Your wife would swear on you, and also me for bringing up such a useless chap... Arre mom!! When I get married, there would be two of us lazing around... and then yeah.. we would definitely take a bath... together... hehehe... I smirked thinking about such a Sunday morning... wow... Then I would love to take a bath the whole day long :)

Enough of brushing you good for nothing fellow!! You are brushing your teeth, not scrubbing a basin... get hold of your towel and in the bathroom you go RIGHT NOW!!

Sigh!! Guess the time's up... A man's gotta do what he's gotta do !! Finally, my feet step inside the bathroom (helped by my mom's shove from behind)... Wish I had a Jacuzzi or a plain bath tub in which I could laze around a bit more... just a bit more...

One day, When I would be a great scientist.. I would invent a capsule... You just need to swallow it.. and Bingo!! The effect would be as good as you've taken a bath... all the dead cells of your skin would just shed off, you would be more freshened and alert and even kill all the bacteria and make you smell good...

Speaking about being a scientist, I suddenly thought about the episode in which Dexter (The child prodigy who owns a huge secret lab-- a cartoon of course!) who faced a similar problem like me, laminates himself so that he wouldn't have to take a bath or wash his hands often...

Great minds think alike, don't they?? ;)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Mistake

Ravi had been through a really tough period in his life... A week that he would just like to forget... He had broken up with his girl friend of 10 years... he was thrown out of his job for lack of a good performance.... He had decided he had enough of this bullshit, and wanted to start over afresh... and hence he shifted to his friend's unoccupied apartment in Versova, Mumbai... anyways, he was bugged of the old 9 to 5 job in an insurance firm... Writing, was all that interested him the most... 3 years... himself... 3 yrs to write a novel and make it big, he thought, as the Taxi pulled up to the 15 storied building...

He had just taken all the luggage and had entered the lift... the doors were going to shut just when he heard a woman calling out for the lift... as the doors open, Ravi was taken aback by what he saw in front of him... a sultry 20s something girl... twinkling eyes.. long flowing hair... with a smile one would die for... she entered the lift and saw that the number 15 button was already pressed...

"Are u shifting to the vacant flat on the 15th floor?", she asked Ravi...
"Yep... just shifted last night.. had to get a couple of suitcases though..."
"wow.. thats wonderful... even i stay on the same floor... there are only 2 flats per floor.. that makes us next door neighbours!!"

Ravi smiled... He couldn't believe his luck... Only a girl can make the hurt given by another girl go away... he thought... "Yes.. thats wonderful..."

"Im Rhea..."
"Im Ravi"
"Ok... will see you later..."

Ding dong...

Ravi opened the door... there she was... with the same twinkling eyes, her hair blown by the breeze across her face... her smile... her skin... aahhh...

"Hello", she said... "Just got u a mug of coffee... thought your kitchen wouldn't be setup as yet.."
"Oh that was really thoughtful of you... Thanx a million... I owe u one..."
"That you do.. but please return the mug.." she smiled and walked away... Ravi couldn't take her eyes off her posterior... and her smoothed skinned legs...

As the days went by, Ravi and Rhea became close friends... Rhea said she had come from Mussourie to make it big in the film industry but now worked at the call centre by the night... she was quite impressed by Ravi's ambitions and his liking of the authors... They shared the same taste in Music, and Books.. and would chat for hours on end over mugs of Coffee....

One fine evening, Rhea and Ravi were standing at his balcony, enjoying the cool sea breeze...
Ravi really liked Rhea... he was totally possessed by her beauty... the smell of her hair and her skin used to drive him crazy... he craved for the feel of her luscious lips.. he wanted to hold her very close... far too close...

"GET AWAY FROM ME RAVI......." Rhea screamed...
Ravi jolted back to reality... He was holding Rhea by her waist and had tried to kiss her...


"Im sorry Rhea... it.... it just happened... I had no intentions of....."

"I know your intentions very well you arsehole... lemme go... You have disappointed me Ravi... I dont wanna ever speak to you again..."

And she barged out and slammed the door behind her...

Ravi was distraught.. He didn't know what to do... He had really liked Rhea.. not just lustfully, but also emotionally... but his lustful feelings for her had just ruined everything they had in between them...

For the next couple of weeks, Ravi tried to meet Rhea.. but she avoided him completely... Ravi felt dejected... his close friends didn't know what was wrong with him.. He stopped talking to people... and he couldn't get over this tremendous guilt feelings he had developed within himself.. he wanted to apologize to Rhea, but he didn't know how... His life was totally screwed up...

His friends thought he hadn't been over his break-up yet... To cheer him up, they decided to go out partying on Saturday night to the local pub... They boozed heavily... one shots after another... Ravi was drinking away his sorrows and he really felt better... he wanted more.. and more... and so he went... The pub shut at 1 am... and they all went to the nearby dance bar...

Young girls shaking their booties and their busts amidst a pouring rain of currency notes and the booze and the dope made a deadly combination... Ravi had never been on such a high before... Till he saw her... the same eyes... long flowing hair.. the same smile... the same woman he had lusted and loved a couple of weeks ago... for whom he was drinking himself sober again... There she was.. dressed in a red colored churidar, being the centre of all attention.. the queen amongst all the dancers... being showered with scores of 500 Rs bills... and pulled and groped by the customers at will...

Their eyes caught each other... a sense of despair went through Rhea's mind... a dejected look came on her face momentarily... but she suppressed her feelings, and went on with her "Job"...
Ravi's mind blew up!! He felt betrayed... She's a fucking call girl after all... he thought... a bar girl.. dunno how many people had she slept with... The Bitch... she refused me... and I had truly developed so many feelings for her.... and i had made my life so miserable after all that happened...

Ravi was out of his mind.. he wanted to go home as soon as possible... his eyes were blood shot red... he glared at Rhea one final time before he, still being high on alcohol, trudged away... helped by his friends...

It was 4 am when Rhea came to her flat... there he was, sitting on the floor at the door of his flat with a glass of Whiskey in his hands... he wanted answers... and he wanted them now...

Ravi got up to his feet... he accosted Rhea.. Rhea tried to push him away... but he instead shoved Rhea into her flat...

"Ravi... please let me explain... "

"Explain what.. you bitch... how dare u refuse me... and u sleep with all those people ... You slut... Now I'll show you where u belong..."

"Ravi.. wait... ur not in your senses right now.. we'll talk in the morning over this... plz stop....."

Ravi slapped her and shoved her onto the sofa... he pressed his hand over her mouth and ripped apart her clothes... Rhea tried to scream... scream as loud as she could, but Ravi was on a high... he was possessed... he felt betrayed... the bitch is a call girl and she deserved to be raped tonight....

Ravi had forced himself upon her.. and Rhea had finally given away after much struggle.. it was all over after half an hr...

Rhea lay on the sofa the entire night... Ravi felt satisfied.. his ego was satisfied.. he felt at peace... he slept peacefully that night...

Ravi didn't meet Rhea after that... The very next morning, she had already gone... Ravi's life was going to change forever after that...

That night Rhea wanted to tell something... something that would have saved Ravi... Rhea had AIDS... Thats the reason why she hadn't slept with Ravi... she also had the same feelings for Ravi... Rhea died a couple of years after that incident... Ravi had been detected as HIV positive and had entered the fulminant stage of AIDS... he lay on a hospital bed, looking out at the sky... wondering ... What if....

Well guys.. this was one of the stories from the Movie "Dus Kahaniyan"... just was an exercise for me, to try and put a movie into words... hope I did decent enough ;)
Would definitely be trying to write down a short story soon...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Instructions at an ATM

Just came across this hilarious article while surfing... Thought I should share it with you all... :D

Instructions at an ATM for guys and for girls

Instructions for the guys:

1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert Card
3. Enter PIN
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Drive away

Instructions for the Gals:

1. Pull up to ATM
2. Back up and pull forward to get closer
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
9. Enter PIN
10. Study instructions
11. Hit "CANCEL"
12. Re-enter correct PIN
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. Stop
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. Get back in car
32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in checkbook
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
36. Check makeup
37. Put car in reverse
38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine
40. Drive 3 miles
41. Release parking brake

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Batti Bandh !!

It was 15th December... the "Batti Bandh" day... Mumbai was supposed to blacken out for 1 hour from 7.30 in the evening, to save power consumption, to spread awareness against the Global Warming...

It was 7.30 pm, and I promptly lit up the candles for mom... switched off the lights and electrical appliances (except the refrigerator) and went out for a stroll...

The school kids from my building were looking dejected.. They had come in the morning to request us to switch off the lights during that one hour... It seemed that their pleas had fallen on deaf ears..

I walked upto them and asked them whats the matter...

"Bhaiyya, we had requested everyone, but nobody seemed to be interested... they all say that if noone is switching off, why should we... what difference am I gonna make alone.... now what should we do??"

I was with another friend of mine.. my school mate... we decided, it was time for us to take some action, at least for the sake of the efforts the school kids had taken...

We took some sheets of paper, and started visiting everyone's homes... asking them to write down the reasons and sign, stating why aren't they shutting down for an hour... each flat we used a single piece of paper... We were not surprised to see the same reason from all the 15 flats...

"Why should we switch off if everybody else is keeping it on?"

Now came the second part... we again went door-to-door... showing them all the papers from the 15 flats and asked them to comply... the kids were quite enthusiastic in this matter...

Embarrassed, people did finally switch off their appliances... and we had "Batti Bandh" in 10 out of the 15 flats in our building... (The other 5 slammed their doors on our faces!! We thought of cutting down the mains to their flats, but since this was a voluntary effort, we didn't...)
Then, we took a box of candles, and lit them in the entire corridor and the staircase upto the fourth floor and switched off the lights for the same... The kids suggested that one of them should stay at every floor, just in case some elderly person needs help in getting up and down the stairs...

In the end, the program at out place was a success!! And I was pretty satisfied, that in some way, I too was able to contribute towards it...

But I was quite disappointed at the callous and ignorant attitude shown by the Mumbaikars... From our terrace, I could see no change from what I see every evening, and that none of them had taken any efforts towards this awareness campaign... Global Warming, they say, won't be affecting them in any way... They don't realize that it would be their future generations that would be at an enormous loss if we at this moment, don't take any action...

I sincerely laud the efforts taken by the youth of Mumbai in trying to make this campaign a success... I think that even at least 1 hour load shedding in all areas in Mumbai would contribute a great deal towards power saving...

Not again...

Was surfing through the channels when i came across the movie Andaaz Apna Apna being played on a movie channel... and guess what, exactly at the same scene from which I have seen the movie a million times to say the least... the song "Dil karta hai tere paas aau..." was playing, and then later, Raveena hits Aamir on the head which apparently leads to his memory loss...
I don't understand why it has always happened to me, that I have seen the movie from exactly the same scene onwards, each and every time.... It seems like I'll have to buy the VCD/DVD of ythe movie to watch the initial half...

The Closure

It had been one year since our relationship had ended... A relationship which had no name... but still it was the most precious thing... it had left me scarred.. depressed.. dejected... the past one year i had spent with a hollow feeling... a vacuum that existed within me... The things that I once enjoyed were no longer that enjoyable.. and the things that i loathed, I'd embraced them...

There were some unanswered questions.. I won't harass her again, I'd promised... It was a word to be kept until the end.. How can anyone so special can be estranged in a couple of months... How can someone be so hostile after such affection...

One strange night, I got all my answers.. answers that weren't satisfactory... but I didn't mind... I had learnt to forgive and to forget... my restless feelings got assuaged... we shared a few happy moments... moments from the past... about our future... It was a night I wished would never end... We both had been hurt with whatever had happened... things that were beyond our control... things that happened so fast, that before we had realized what had happened, it had broken many a dreams...

But as she rightly said...

"Do you know how crystals are formed?? The whole process takes thousands of years. All the impurities slowly come to the surface, and then get washed away, melt away or chipped away... and all that is left behind is a lovely core of crystal... Thats how memories can be... if the good outweighs the bad..."

I know I have lost someone really special... the one you hope to find throughout your lifetime ... I may not find someone like her again... The crystal of her memories are all that I have with me...
I have no regrets whatsoever... No grudges anymore...

Its easy to let go of someone if you get a proper closure... part in a happy note... no hard feelings, only good wishes of things ahead... I thank her a million for this conversation... this closure, which I was longing for the past one year... I feel whole again... now there are no tears, only smiles... of the past memories and things ahead... You have breathed a new life in me again, just like you had did when we met for the first time.. and now again when we part ways...

Been Rocked like a Hurricane!!

I was going through the newspaper in the evening when my Cell phone buzzed....

"Are You going for the Scorpions concert?" That was AM's SMS.

Wtf?? I thought they were playing in Shillong...

"Na... they are playing tomorrow at the MMRDA... didnt u know that?"

A frantic search thru the net, and I got the details... The Scorpions are really playing in Mumbai... Brilliant! Sadly, the tickets were out of stock at the CCD outlets, and hence i had to count on them being available at the venue, which they thankfully were...

It was a sad thing to notice that there were more volunteers than fans who have come to see the concert.. where as the Shakira and Beyonce (bull crap!!!) concerts go packed !! Wth, why am I complaining? No need to stand in a queue... :)

I was joined by Sumeet, and we got inside by 6.30 pm. It was a sorry sight... hardly any crowd in the front section (Rs.1500/-), and people were sitting and lying around lazily... A rock concert venue eh?! We had a quick bite and guzzled down some fluids as I replenished my vitals for the concert... It began at around 7, with the local band Bombay Boys playing a few acoustic numbers... and then the long frustrating wait when we were bombarded with Mind- fucking senseless Hero honda and Radio Mirchi ads!! The crappy hosting by the Channel V VJs just made the matters worse, and chants of "START THE FUCKING SHOW" started to pick up some momentum... The organizers were shrewd enough to start the music and began airing a few Scorpions and other rock numbers which assuaged the restless crowd...

And behold !! at the strike of 8, Klaus, Matthias, Rudolf, Pawel and James barged in with their "Weapons of Mass Destruction" (Read: Guitars) and started strumming with screams, whistles and chants trying to match the 50,000+ watts of pure electrical acoustics... and when Klaus went "Salaam Mumbai" the crowd went berserk....

Initially, they played a few of their songs from their new album, Humanity...

Then Klaus went... "All this time, we just tuning out vocals... Now its ur turn".... and then came the "Holiday"... My system lost it.. I got goose bumps like I have never had, not even when I had my first kiss... And as we all chanted "Let me take you far away...", my senses were already gone far far away...

And then came "Send Me an Angel" and "Always somewhere"... And my vocal cords started working overtime, reaching the amplitude and frequency so high, that Sumeet suffered from a temporary hearing loss!! Then Klaus started throwing autographed drum sticks into the crowd, sadly, none of them came our way... biased as he was, he threw them to the 2 extreme ends, while we were there bang in front in the centre...

In went the acoustic guitars and out again came the WMDs... what followed was an intense Hardcore metal/rock which the Scorpions are famous for... and all the head banging that follwed was interrupted by Some mind blowing strumming on the bass by Pawel !! He was ammmmmmazing to say the least... and to make the things exciting, he got the crowd involved too... And then came the jamming session between Matthias and Rudolf...

What followed was easily the best performance of the night... the solo on the drums by James... as he ripped apart his tee, stood up and played on the drums with his feet, guzzled down cans of beer and sprayed it in the air like the Triple-H and the crowd went mad with he hit the strings of the electric guitar with his drums sticks....

Then they played the "Humanity" number from their recent album... and after a quick farewell, disappeared backstage...

The crowd went restless... it was 9.30 pm and they still haven't played their famous numbers...
It was a gimmick, I thought... chants of "We want more" grew... and yo!! Out they came...

"We are a thousand miles away from home... and Still Loving you Mumbai......."

Fucking brilliant Music followed... my insanity levels reached their peaks...

Still Loving you... and then came their anthem "Wind of Change" which they sang with the crowd.... And this time, they started throwing their picks and some more drum sticks... they came at the centre stage together for the final farewell... we weren't satisfied... we wanted more.. and so we screamed our lungs out...

"You want more?? Ok... more you'll get..."

And then came "When the Smoke is Going Down"...

"And before we leave... we wanna make sure, we really did Rock you like a Hurricane..."

Whoppie... there came the one ppl were waiting for...
"Here I am... rock u like a hurricaaaaaaaaaaneeeeeeeeee...."

And then they went... And there I was.. totally famished... exhausted.. run out of air...
Parched throat... sore vocal cords... jammed stapes... and stiff paraspinal cervical muscles !!

Sumeet and me stopped at the Thai restaurant at lokhandwalla and ate hot and delicious Red chicken curry and rice in the cold December night, still not over with the euphoria of the concert...

It was easily the best concert that I had attended so far.. even better than the Bryan Adams, the Aerosmith, and the Pink Floyd one!!

Was a bit disappointed that they didn't play "No one like you"and "You and I" ... but over all.. it was Full Paisa wasool !!

Still Loving you scorpions... cuz u rocked me like a Hurricane !! :D

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Long Time No See!!!

Well, I guess that's what my blog page must be telling me as i sign into it after a hiatus of.... err... 3 months or so?? Well, just that I had been too lazy enough to blog down each and every bit of a million things that have been happening in my life since then...

lets see...

Made the major career move... joined in actrec as a research fellow... shifted to Kharghar temporarily...
bought a new cam.. a panasonic fz8... great cam.. havent tried it much though!!
Fell ill a couple of times... and it was bad...
started living a loner's life... started missing home made food... not for long though! ;)
Took the fag... as Gum ka saathi Rum, Akelepan ka saathi Dum !! Not an addict though :P
Really missed watching the movies... suffered from major withdrawal symptoms of not being able to watch movies for 30 Rs at Movietime (10 am shows!!) -- Read: An acute and insatiable desire to have popcorn and thumbs up at 11 am !! :O
Took to guitaring... just a few lessons and I was on top of the world!!
Took to jogging... I dont believe I actually used to jog approx 5kms everyday... not since the past 2 weeks that I have been home...
Used my brains... lol... Research really needs it you see!! Had to perform a major sweeping operation inside the skull... loads of corners still need to be cleaned up.. :)
Stopped trekking!!! :( :( Not for long though... have found many new pals at ACTREC having similar interests... Dec treks are on.. still, after 8 consecutive sunday outings in June-July-Aug has really given me the blues...
Applications!! Oh.. that should had been the first thing on the list... mera future ispe depend karta hai yaar!! since the past 2 weeks im running around the doors of various departmental offices of my college for LORs, Transcripts, attestations etc... Just been to Nashik yesterday and back for the attestation stuff... Thanx to the typical GSite trait of procrastinating till the very end... Finally its gonna get over (Fingers crossed) by this coming Monday...
Realized that all the Government/BMC officials are real jackasses and whores!! Even though You are swearing on their mothers in ur brains, you are licking their arses and calling a chapraasi "Sir" !!! :O
But that has its own benefit u see... yesterday calling the security official "SIR" at the MUHS gate got me a free ride of about 40 kms in an AC Scorpio from the university till Nashik station... and saved me precious time and hundreds of bucks!! As my friend Nishant says, You are not going to see his face ever in ur life, and if your work is getting done, whats the harm?? Get rid of your fucking ego!!

I have taken to watching plays... dunno why.. but just... they are more appealing to me that crappy movies screened in the theatres...
Been addicted to Facebook and ... Scrabble!! I remember the first time I'd beaten dearest Amrita (a pro) at a game , sitting in that Java Grind cafe, that led to events that really turned my life over the past year or so...
Havent spent so much time with my friends ever in the past 6-7 years that I have done in the past 3 months... Swajit, Amit, Rahul and others from the broken down "Falcons" have been amazing friends and company... I'm actually enjoying being single now... Thanx Swajit for all the fag-outs and the crappy movies for which u have been with me...

Being single... hmmm... I have been without a date for 7 freaking months!!!!! :O
Last date sometime in April... well just that I cant find the right girl... or the right girl doesnt find me good enough ! ;) Well, I guess Im just waiting for a person like me... but I think Swajit is right in saying that I should take my chances and date the wrong person!! I mean, not from the wrong sex...

Yippee!! Im off cricket (one day) for good!! Not cuz of T20 (That is a piece of shit... cant even call it cricket... its a joke)... cuz of my kharghar place that doesnt have tv... :D
Sadly and unfortunately, for the same reason Im missing out on Football and Champions league action !! :(

I have started cooking... and getting up early... trying to adapt myself to the new lifestyle that awaits me next year!! (Fingers crossed again)

I have shed a few kilos... again thanx to Kharghar :) Its good to feel fit again...

Wow!! I have suddenly realized that as I am typing this blog, it has been exactly one year since I had broken up!! Yes... the blues still strike me!!... *sob sob*... ok... washed away!! :D

Saturday, August 25, 2007

A Coffee to savour...

A group of well established and successful professionals once got together to visit their old college lecturer. Catching up on all the old times, about the college life and the good old days, the conversation soon turned into complaints about the various stresses at work and in life....

Smiling, the lecturer went into the kitchen to get his guests a cup of coffee... and he returns with a large pot of hot coffee, and an assortment of cups- Porcelain,plastic, glass... some plain looking... some exquisite and expensive... He asked them to help themselves to a cup of coffee...

When everybody had a cup of coffee in their hands, the lecturer said -

If you notice, all the nice looking and expensive cups have been taken, leaving behind the cheap and the plain ones on the table..While it's only normal to want the best for yourselves, thats also the source of all ur problems and stresses... What all of you really wanted was coffee, and not the cup, but you consciously chose the better cockery, and even now you are eyeing each other's cups.

Now, If life is coffee, then jobs, money, your status in the society etc are the cups. They are just the tools to hold and contain your life, not the life itself... Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the main content inside the cup..

Happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather recognizing and appreciating the things that we do really have...

So dont let the cups drive you or distract you, Just concentrate on the warmth and the flavour of the coffee within...

Drink up your coffee and enjoy!! CHEERS!!! :)

Btw, "Mujhe coffee peena bahut pasand hai!!" ;)

Ad Mad

Off late many of my friends had been asking me, why i have stopped blogging...

Well the answer is plain and simple... Just cuz im damn lazy to put all my thoughts on the blogsite... I would rather blurt it out in my mind... swear a bit at all the shitty things happening around me.. and just move on with my life...

But today... something reeeeeeeeaaaaally really compelled me to log into my blogger account and start typing... and i must thank Shiney Ahuja for this...
Confused??? Yeah.. even i was... cuz he has acted out in the most pathetic, sick and nonsensical ad i have seen in the recent times... The first time i saw it, i was damn confused.. but the second time, when i really concentrated (though i didnt had to), I felt like really pulling the hair out... Not mine, but Shiney Ahuja's!! The sucker... read on...

The ad starts with some builder mafia trying to confiscate a couple of beach-side shacks and restaurants.. the goons are throwing away all the furniture, and the owner of the restaurant, a sexy lass... looks around in desperation!!
With a bollywood ishtyle, our hero Shiney makes a dramatic entry...

"Ye zameen in logon ki hai..." he tells the builder.. as the damsel in distress looks on helplessly....

"Koi boundary line hai kya??" the builder asks...

"Boundary line dekhni hai??...." and then Shiney turns around and starts whistling...

and lo behold... out from a distance in the sea, there is a shark fin which approaches in the direction of the hero...
and then the most sickening and stupidest thing happens...
The shark fin leaves the sea, cuts open the earth and the sand , and forms a boundary line around the beach shack...

"Ye dekho boundary line"... Ahuja says and walks away with the shark fin following him...


the ad was...

Shark tooth cassettes and Cds... lead the way!!! :O

Well i was really disappointed with Shiney... he had a really good choice of movies to act in like Hazaaron Khwaishein Aise.. Gangster.. Metro etc... I guess he shud stick to movies... ;)

Well.. But all is not lost in the ad world as some brilliant and catchy ads keep coming around, Like the Hutch "Thoda aur" series...
But theres one ad which i really liked... it went something like this...

A phone rings in a house and an old Parsi lady answers the call...
A man speaks on the other end..

"Hello, Rita?"


"Aye Rita... aati kya... 9-12 show hai multiplex mein... ekdum raap-chik dhamaal karenge hum...."

The old lady hangs up... "Pata nahi kitne saal chalega ye sab....." and she walks away...

The man in the public urinal zips up, keeps the cell phone in his pocket, and walks away...

On the wall in front of the urinal is written in bold ink...
"For fun and free sex, call Rita 4131165" !!!

Stic markers... chale saalon-saal !!!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Chuck De....

Chak de... Ho chak de India... Chak de.. Ho chak de India....

The songs blaring all over the place.. On each and every radio station i tune into... (Thank God.. a relief from the usual Himesh stuff!!) and on every music channel on the idiot box...

SRK... the Bollywood icon, with a gang of 16 girls.. rocking the Astro-turf with... (ahem) Hockey sticks!!
This is supposed to be a boost to the game of hockey in India... a country in which we Eat cricket, drink cricket, Breathe cricket... and also we Shit, pee, burp and Fart cricket... and Stink of cricket...
Hockey is our national game... err... was is supposed to be "was our national game"?? well who the fuck cares?? Its cricket that we live for...

Dhyaanchand who??? I know even the size of Sachin Tendulkars Underwear... thts the response u'll get from the teens of today...

Cometh the World cup disaster... the public once again goes beserk.. Fuck cricket and the cricketers!! We need to improve other sports.. hockey, tennis, etc etc... we need to bring those sports back to their helm...
And then this Movie...

SRK says... This is a movie about a Muslim guy, coaching an Indian team, of 16 girls.. in a game of hockey...
Has all the bollywood masala right??

I saw the making a couple of days ago.. It was nice to see all the girls putting in all the hard work... from learning hockey skills from none other than Mr. Dhanraj Pillay... to slogging it out in the acting schools..
Mr.Dhanraj Pillay said... u can call me anytime of the day or night , and i'd surely come to help those girls...
That was the same Dhanraj whom the World had seen on national TV channels, with teary eyes, saying that he has made a mistake by playing hockey, in a country where noone cares for any other sport , except... well... cricket!!

Maybe the times are changing.. i thought... This movie will surely, make at least "SOME" impact on the minds of the concerned people... and give a boost to the game of Hockey, in general...
Special free screenings were held for women's hockey teams...
SRK personally had flown over to London for the World premier... (and he was seen at the Oval during a test match!!)

I went for the movie with loads of expectations... i'm not a fan of SRK, but the movie was pretty good...
One scene in which theres a brawl between the girls and a group of men in Mcdonalds... a guy tries to sneak up behind a girl and tries to hit her with a cricket bat, when SRK stops him and says...
" Mard ho to saamne se waar karo... Humaari hockey mein Chhakke nahi hote...."
and the entire theatre goes up in an applause and laughter...

I reached home.. and was pretty satisfied... I could see an inkling of hope for the Indian Hockey... maybe they'll get good sponsors and good astro-turfs for training...
I switched on the tv.. ESPN channel...

Chak de.. Ho chak de.. India..... chak de.. ho chak de India....
SRK : Be there to support ur team for the 20-20 cricket World cup in South Africa!!

(P.s.... We still eat, drink, breathe.. and shit,pee,fart cricket!!)
Chuck De India!!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Back again..

I'm writing this blog after a long hiatus.. All these days, I was quite busy.. busy pondering over the decisions I've made.. and about their repercussions..
The monsoon has set in.. The world around me has sprung back to life..
As i sit near the balcony and relish my mug of hot coffee.. I watch the world change around me..
The rain drops play an amazing orchestra on the trees and the metal roof above my balcony through the night..
The Gulmohars are slowly vanishing.. and lush green colours have replaced their fiery red colours..
Theres a surge of urgency amongst the bird kingdom.. Crows are frantically trying to build their homes.. just so that they can start their new life amidst the stormy atmosphere.. what a time to bring out a small new innocent life into this world.. and who knows whether it will live to see the winter..
A huge downpour.. and they try to shelter themselves anywhere they can.. amongst the branches n the foliage of trees.. or on the windows..
The vacations have long gone.. school kids in colorful raincoats, umbrellas and gum boots make their way gleefully to school and back... splashing the rain waters on each other..

There is a tree below my balcony.. Its a Chickoo tree.. This summer, the tree was entering our balcony and so my mom had the top chopped off..
Now when i look at the tree.. 8 new shoots have sprung up around the chopped off end.. Raring to shoot skywards.. like they always had been.. fresh new leaves have already started to grow..

I see a group of kids playing in the rain water below.. theres a steady flow of stream running down the slope... The kids are trying to obstruct the flow.. they try everything.. first they stand with their feet together.. then they try to build a dam-like thing with stones.. whatever they try, the stream always by-passes the obstruction by flowing around it..

Nature is beautiful.. Just by sitting at my balcony for half n hour.. Ive learned such an important lesson in life..

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Video clips from my last trek with Zankhan -- Naneghat-Jeevdhan (18-19-20 May 04)

The 18-19 May 2004 trek to Naneghat-Jeevdhan was my last trek with my buddy, Zankhan.. I came across this vcd after months of shuffling and turning my entire home upside down, and managed to upload a few clips on youtube to share it with u all..

Zankhan, you may not be here with us, but we'll always miss my friend! The "Falcons'" wings have been clipped off forever...

1] Introduction - The morning after the climb

2] Watch Myself and Zankhan make our favourite JUNGLEE SANDWICH :)

3] The first view of Jeevdhan from the top of Naneghat

4] Climbing the final portion of the Jeevdhan Rock patch

5] Watch Zankhan guide me thru the rock patch

6] This is how we filter the water on our treks!! :)

7] Daktar babu...performing a minor surgery on his injured foot!!

8] The end of our journey

Sunday, June 10, 2007

These Feet are meant for walking

One fine sunny day, myself and my friend were walking the streets of Bandra..

"You know, you should never make a lady walk... but u always make me walk, that too in this scorching sun... at least we shud ve ricked it up.."

"Rick? cmon.. its just a 15 min walk to the theatre... and whats wrong in walking?"

"Why dont you get a bike?? In that way, we can save so much money on travelling..."

"Well thats exactly what we are doing, saving money and saving fuel by walking... "

Yesterday, like every other day, my mom asks me...

"Take a rick to the station.. its too hot outside.."

"Why?? Have my legs been amputed?? Cant i walk??"

I dont understand.. People have become so dependant on their vehicles that they barely walk anywhere... Especially the guys of the younger generation... Driving a bike is considered to be cool ... and even use their bikes for even going to the nearby store...

Whats wrong in walking?? Ive walked places... Ive walked innumerable times down the 14 km walk to Kanheri... and not to miss out the 70 km 21 hr walk to Titwala, in scorching heat!!

Theres a particular purpose for each and every part of our body.. We ve been provided with eyes for seeing, fingers for holding, teeth for chewing.. and huh.. legs for walking...
As more and more humans grow dependant on their cars and bikes, a new species of humans will evolve..
Around the turn of the twenty-third century, I can see legless humans being born...

By then, of course, there will be flying wheel chairs....

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Sasura sab confoosion hai re...

I was returning home by bus in the evening.. the Bus was stuck in traffic on the Andheri fly-over, besides the railway station, when 2 young bhaiyyas came and sat behind me..

"Idhar dekho..." said one, pointing to the station visible outside the window...

"Oo rightwa jo hai, ooka 'Easht' bolat hai... aur oo leftwa jo hai, ooka 'wesht'..."

"Par Gulbajiya mein to leftwa pe Easht bolat hai...."

"Abbe ee bambai hai bambai... Bho****ke, agar tujhe bambai ka eashtwa aur weshtwa naahi maalum, to tohar kuch naahi hone waala..."

"Haa.. ee baat to theek hai..."

The lights are green, and the bus starts again with a rumbling sound that sets up a series of borborygmi in my tummy... God im hungry...

"Par Misraji..." the other guy goes again...

"... agar hum oo taraf se dekhe.. to leftwa easht ban jaawat hai aur rightwa wesht..."

"Ee baat sasura humaar khopaddiya mein kaahe naahi ghusi??? sasura sab confoosion hai bhai..."

Haa ji... sasura hamaar khopaddiya bhi tohaar logic sunke ghumwat hui gawa... saala sab confoosion hai...

Thursday, June 7, 2007

But it Rained...

I was sitting near my balcony, relishing a mug of hot coffee and the rains, when out of the blues, i remembered this song... "But it Rained" By India's best rock Band Parikrama...

Well this song has nothing to do with the rains as such.. Its their number 1 single, released in 1996..
The main theme of the song is about the kidnappings that were going around in the Kashmir valley in the mid nineties.. hundreds of people had simply disappeared, and even after years, their families , keeping hope against hopes.. that someday, their loved ones just might come back home...

A very catchy song and good lyrics.. watch it and hear it...

But it Rained - Parikrama

Wrapped in a polythene tucked away safe in my mind
A little goodbye maybe or just a passing smile

The birds fly away to the southern sky searching a home
A bunch of paper flowers or a little boy left all alone
Can somebody hear me I'm screaming from so far away
Morning who will calm you now, the evening is eclipsed again

Well does life get any better
More yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow
But it rained . . .

They justified the cause for which Daddy might give up his life
It's been so long, so long a time, still I miss Daddy at night
The ache is long gone but the never keeps staring along
The waters in the seas are high
and all the sand castles have drowned

Well does life get any better
More yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow
But it rained . . .

" ... Meanwhile, relatives of the four kidnapped tourists are back in the country to make yet another appeal. It has been a year now since the abduction, and the last seven months have seen little but a stony silence.”

"Amid reports of illness, injury and threats of death, was the uncertainty of not knowing what to believe ... she did not even get to say goodbye" said the wife of one of the hostages. More appeals have been made some even by other militant organisations, but the message is ..."

This is an excerpt from a magazine report published more than 5 years ago. It hit us in the face then, it still tingles in the spine each time. We wrote this song then, in an effort to feel the uncertainty, the futility, ourselves. To share the yet shimmering hope of those who are left waiting for a loved one. At times forever. It's worse still, not having even said a goodbye, or caught the last eye. As funerals are. Ceremonial farewells, perhaps?

Five long years, not a word, nor a trace. Some of them have still not given up, as we read in the papers recently. They wait, even today ... we can hear the strain ...

- Parikrama

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Inequality in Equality

This year, the French Open for the first time is giving away equal amount of prize money for Women's and Men's Events...
Well, the thought is good.. Equality of sexes and all..
But just give it a thought... Is it really worth it??
I'm not trying to be a sexist and a Male chauvinist here.. But Ive several reasons for the same..

First of all.. Men's event can be won if a player wins 3 sets.. so the minimum no. of sets played is 3 , which many a times goes to even 4 or 5...
A Women's event on the other hand goes for a max of 3 sets... duh!!

Furthermore, the intensity that is seen in a men's event is rarely seen in a women's match... all we can hear is Grunts from the marias and the williams... but no power in their shots... and their tennis is a complete bore to watch..

All that attracts a Women's events is short skirts and style icons with bouncing balls!!! While, true tennis is seen been played in the Men's event.. amazing rallies and zealous fightbacks..

I know , the entire feminine species will run for my throat on these comments.. but facts are facts right??!!

Monday, June 4, 2007


Choices... a very essence of being a human is the ability to make a choice in life...
Unfortunately, I havent been such a good choice maker... in fact.. i hate making a choice..
Sometimes, i wish God had just thrusted stuff over me.. I wud have taken it with a big heart.. But why do we have to make choices in life..

Sometimes, i feel that maybe.. its just this typical geminine trait in me.. and sometimes i think im still not mature enough to make a choice.. anyways, making a choice has always been tough for me right from the beginning..

From choosing between comics at the local library... to making a choice between hundreds of cool compass boxes and school bags...
From chosing chocolates... to a good tee ..

from various flavours of ice creams.. to that of fruit juices..

Life as a child was never easy...

And now.. even as i turn 24.. Choices havent left me...

To make things even more worse... Now there are MULTIPLE CHOICES everywhere...

Train, rickshaw or bus??

Boot cut, straight cut or comfort fit??

Cappuccino, espresso or Cafe mocha?? With flavor /without flavor?? with ice cream..without???

Caramel, salted or Plain pop corn???!!

Thanx to multiplexes... Pirates, shrek , metro or chini kum??

Mc veggie.. chicken or maharaja... with cheese /without cheese?? medium/small/large coke?????????????????????????????????????????????

God damn the cafe/mc dee culture!!!
Just put in every f***ing thing uve got , but dont ask me what...

and now... even in acads.. my life is screwed...

Hypoparathyroidism following thyroid surgery commonly occurs within
a) 24 hrs
b) 1-2 days
c) 2-5 days
d) 7-10 days
e) 2-3 weeks

And now...

According to the passage, which of the following are true about quarks...

1. The are elementary building blocks for neutrons
2. They ve no internal structure
3. They r grouped with leptons in a single class of particles

a)1 only
b)2 only
c)1 and 3 only
d)2 and 3 only
e)1, 2 and 3


And when all this shit is over...

University of ohio or autin??? baltimore or houston?? Florida or toronto???

MS or Phd??

Whoever said life was easy should go and screw himself!!

The other day, there was a mega block on the western railway and i had 2 options... either catch a bus or the train.. I went to the station to see that the next train was 20 mins late.. and the platform was jam packed at 4 in the afternoon... ominous signs ...
I took the decision.. ill catch the bus.. I went to the highway.. and waited
and waited
and waited
30 mins.. not a single bus towards borivali
I kept hope against hope as the bus towards dahisar went totally packed with passengers..
4.30 and im leaving from here.. i told myself
The clock struck 4.30, and just as i was about to leave.. out of nowhere... this empty bus pulls out of nowhere in front of our stop..
Apparently, they had started a new bus service since the mega block on the railway was on..
I reached home comfortably...

Finally.. I had taken the right decision.. and id decided...
My decisions will be on pure instincts.. and ill stick to them no matter how foolish they may seem to be..
When i had to decide between R and A.. between M and L... i lost everything..
which led to me making a decision of U over I... and i hope ive taken the right one..
Cuz im not thinking over it anymore..
The Decision's been taken.. and this time, its straight from the heart!!

Friday, June 1, 2007

Bad Hair days...

Hmm.. U must have heard those words from every other girl in town...

Oh God!! Im having a bad hair day... blah blah blah... and they sulk around the whole day..
Nothing what the guy says or does to cheer her up works.. Hair r the most precious things to girls, i must say..
Especially, when the new coiffure goes haywire.. U better be away from her at that moment..

But my blog is not about Girls and about their bad hair days... thts so hackneyed!!

Its about something more interesting.. Its about guys and their bad hair days!!

Yeah... we guys also do have bad hair days.. Its just that women dont seem to notice them, unless they give a medusa-head appearance, cuz they think that guys hair are too short to have bad hair days... or rather, they r too preoccupied with their own hair.. and with the hair-dos of the other so-called hep girls whom they're jealous off!!
They are absolutely wrong!!
In fact, a guys bad hair day gets accentuated cuz of his short hair...

Take my sad case for example..
Every time i get a haircut.. its a disaster in the making.. the kind of weird hair that ive inherited..

"Sir.. kaise cut karu??"... the barber asks... with a comb and a pair of scissors.. snipping away in his fingers.. and he looks at my hair and smirks.. concealing his joy in going for the kill...
But i can guess his diabolical intents... sigh!!!

"arre.. saamne se medium kaatna.. side se aur peeche se chhota karna.. lekin jyaada chhota nahi.. ye side se baal khade nahi rehne chahiye.. aur upar ke baal baraabar se kaatna... schiisel ghissel mumbaazool gunterostekal.........."

snip snip snip... He barely heard what i had to say.. merrily snipping away ... my precious hair fallen all over my sides.. I close my eyes.. I cant see the disaster unfolding in front of me in the mirror...

15 mins.. and its over...

"bas ho gaya sir?? ki aur chhota kaatu??"

I slowly open my eyes... gathering courage, a mm wide each time.. hoping against hope that not this time.....

There u go... just like like how it is every month.. a DISASTER!!

"arre mere bhai.. aur kitna chhota karega?? sir par machine hi ghooma deneka na yaar!!!"

There i was... a "GOLF BALL"... thats what someone once used to call me..
Time to stay indoors for a week till some hair grow back to keep them settled down...

Just another bad hair week rather...


A year has gone... the darkest year so far in my life.. a year which saw me lose everything... a year in which i was thrown into a dark chasm.. an abyss which seemed endless... I was falling in deep, that is until a hand came down to pick me up... I was skeptical.. skeptical of this unseen hand that had all of a sudden shown itself.. and when even people close to u hurt u, i was incredulous about my ownself...

Hold my hand... and have faith in me... a voice called out to me...

I had no choice.. I d given up on everything, including myself...

Try to drag urself up.. the voice exhorted me..

And thats what i did.. taking his support, i tried to get my life back on track...
I tried hard.. I gathered all my lost emotions and locked them up inside.. like a person once close to me had told me... You have to enclose ur heart within a chamber- a chamber with walls so thick and so strong, that noone else can break them apart.. and noone else can pierce it again.. and thats what i did...

Today, May 31st marks the end of the year ... the dark year has gone by...

Im reborn again.. after 24 yrs..
May 31st marks a new beginning for me.. a new hope that has kindled within a bruised and battered soul..
And that was all that i needed..
a ray of hope in the chasm that i was in.. and i ve seen that
And today, as id begun my march towards that ray of light, with a callous and a stoic soul..
The hand that was held out to me out of nowhere is now pulling me up...
And the lips that had told me to hang on and keep the faith are now smiling..
And as i look up at the heavens tonight... and feel the first rain drops on my face.. i know ive been blessed.. just like the parched up earth has been blessed with a new lease of life..

Friday, May 25, 2007

Different people... Different Thinking...

Its 7 pm in the evening.. Dad had just come from office... Aai was busy with her evening chores...

zzzooooooop!!! Off went the lights!! Power failure!!!

"Oh God... Now how will i operate the washing machine????", aai said...

"Hey Raam... Now how will i watch Kasam se, Saat pheron mein, Beetiyaan... blah blah blah", Blurted Aji...

"Damn... Now how will i Read the newspaper and Iron my clothes for tomorrow??", This was my Dad...

As for me... I just needed a reason to get away from the house to the terrace for some fresh air ... and some solitude... my Ipod giving me the company...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Mr.Springsteen knows me well..

Heard this song after a long time, and i was amazed to realize that this is exactly my life that he's singing about...

Kudos Mr.Springteen.. Uve finally given a song that describes my life so well.. here it goes..

Dancing in the Dark

I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired
Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

Message keeps getting clearer
radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
Man I ain't getting nowhere
I'm just living in a dump like this
There's something happening somewhere
baby I just know that there is

You can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

You sit around getting older
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this laugh's on me

Stay on the streets of this town
and they'll be carving you up alright
They say you gotta stay hungry
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting 'round here
trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
come on now baby gimme just one look

You can't start a fire
sitting 'round crying over a broken heart

This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire
worrying about your little world falling apart

This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

- Bruce Springsteen

Material Boy!!

Today, i was going through my Orkut profile.. (Have to cuz i know noone else does ;)..
and i came across this column in PERSONAL tab that said ... "5 things i can't live without"..
Hmm.. i wondered.. let me see.. What are those 5 things that "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"!!
Are there such "Things" that one cant live without???
I thought and it didnt take me long to enlist those things... 5 is too less a number of things to enlist..
So i thought, Blogger is a good medium to tell u guys what those things are...

Before i tell u what those things are, I would sincerely like to thank my sister ,Priti, for turning me into a "Material Boy".. as she has given me 99% of those paraphernalia...
So here they go...

1] Ipod Mini

Yeah.. Ive this Ipod Mini...
Its an antiquated player now, but when i got it, it was the latest around.. and i still prefer mini to those 60-80Gb video ipods..
Highly compact which fits into my jeans mini pocket.. no-nonsense music player...
True Nano is a similar one.. but I cant handle delicate things like Nano.. so Mini is better suited to my rugged life!!

This is the most important thing in my life.. as music is my life, i cant live without my ipod for sure... While eating, sleeping, travelling, peeing.. i need this baby!!

2] Sony Cybershot DSC P-72

Surprised to see my cam at number 2??? Cant help it... Music comes first for me... :)
Priti gave this to me when she got herself a new digicam.. So i truely began experimenting with my photography in 2005!! And i think ive done a good job..
Now out of production, DSC P-72 was the first 3.2 MP cam to enter the market... 3X optical zoom was unheard of..
I guess its lens has developed some problem now that i dont get good satisfactory pics and thinking of buying a new one.. But this will always be special for me..

3] Sony Playstation 2

Once a guy on the Orkut PS2 community had asked me...
"A doc playing on a PS2????!!!"


I would say, "Thats me!!"

And dont they say that doctors who are good at playing video games are better surgeons??!!

Again,Priti had gifted this to me in 2005 on my birthday... This is 3rd cuz its a major stress buster for me..
Whenever i get frustrated, i start plugging in my PS2 and start punching on the keys.. so be it thrashing the Undertaker in Smackdown vs Raw..
Or shooting away the aliens' brains.. Or racing the tracks of Spa and the streets of Monaco as Raikkonen.. Or piercing through the opposition defense and shooting goals as Kaka!!

4] Cyberhome DVD player

This compact DVD player is really a smart electronic item... It plays everything right from DVD-R to DVD-RW and CDs and mp3s etc...

Its so compact and light, that sometimes ive even carried it to my friends place in a plastic bag.. :)

Keeps me entertained .. as im a movie buff.. Ive this huge collection of Hollywood movies that we get on the road for 70 bucks..

And yeah.. also have downloaded quite a few ones since ive got the broadband!

5] Portable DVD player

Yeah ive got a DVD player.. so what???

This is my latest acquisition from Priti..

Have u ever watched ur favourite movie, sitting atop the terrace tank.. lying down below the stars and feeling the cool breeze?? Well ive done it quite a many times..

I also carry it to those roadside dvd sellers to see if the dvds i buy are actually working cuz id been duped quite a many times before.. but not now..

The same player has now been introduced in the Indian market but its shit costly..

6] Victorinox - Camping

This is the most handy thing that i have..
Its at number 6 cuz i havent used it much besides trekking and i havent trekked for looooong!! (3months)
But i guess this is one of my favourites...

This Original Victorinox Camping has a total of 21 essential attachments and uses..

Priti had bought this for me when she had gone to Switzerland for her Honeymoon! :)
And shes such a darling that she even got my name engraved on it!!! :)
And also an original handy pouch to attach it to my belt!!

7] Camelbak - Trailblazer , Trekking backpack

This is my one-day Trekking backpack...
Highly compact.. and with a 2.5 L Hydration system installed..
[Hydration system : a water-pack with a silicon tube with a hydro lock that prevents water leakage.. so that one can drink water on the go]

Though ive got a larger 60 L capacity version on the lines of this backpack made to suit my needs, i havent used it much till date..

8] Meade Binoculars

My birding binocs!!!! :)
For a change, Not Priti, but my Jiju had given this to me..

Excellent quality lens.. and very compact..
I carry it regularly on treks and my Nature walks in National park..

Once while i watching a cuckoo from my balcony with the binocs,
the girl staying in the building in front of me thought i was leeching at her and she came to complain to my parents... ;)
Thankfully they bought my explaination about the birding!!
anyways she wasnt soo pretty that i wud leech on her with
my binocs!!! ;)

9] Dell Inspiron E 1505

My laptop!!
Dad got it last yr from USA...
Voted the best laptop of 2006...
It has a Media centre OS Intel centrino duo processor and 120 GB hard drive with a 17.1" monitor...

My old comp had a 20 Gb hard drive and 128 mb ram and it was a PII!! :D
Now even Ipods come with an 80 gb memory!
For my blogging , orkutting , pic editing, music/movie downloading.. and for a change.. studying!! ;)

10] Sony Sports walkman

This was my main source of music before the Ipod..
Still use it to listen to old casettes and the radio..

It has got a hand strap behind so that we can hold it while jogging..
Id actually started jogging when id got this one to show it off!! :)

And it also has one of my fav colour.. Light orange!! :)

Id got a headphones instead of the earphones shown in the Pic on the right..

11] Head lamp and Nordic walking stick

Trekking material that ive just acquired... Havent used them much Cause ive been on just one trek after i got them...
The head lamp damn good.. keeps ur hands free while u are trekking at nights.. Quite powerful and it also has a distress signal light at the press of a button on the top..

Nordic walking stick was bought by my sister when she had gone on a trek in the swiss alps while on her honeymoon!! {I envy her for that!!}
This is my third leg when i trek.. to carry my load when im down and dusted.. helped a lot to climb a gradient on my last trek to Siddhagad, and i know it will help me in future treks too..
Its a telescopic stick that extends to a height of about 5.5 feet!!
While i was carrying it on the trek, the hand-grip used to jut out of my bag over my head..
A couple of locals also asked me if i was carrying a sword or something like that..
Thankfully the policemen patrolling the railway stations didnt think so!! ;)

12] Vivitar 1200 Tripod

For a change, something which I have bought!! :D

just bought it a month back.. havent used it much.. but am damn eager to use it.. Highly compact and light because of its aluminium body and telescopic lens, i intend to carry it on my night treks to get some good snaps at night..

Done with the Major things that i cant live without..
Well there are many other things ranging from My rechargeable batteries and battery charger for my cam to my sony discman and cell phones.. But i could definitely do without them..

Thank you Priti.. I pray noone gets a sister like you!! :)

All those stuff were the latest when id got them, now they are antediluvian.. But dont electronics do get old???

Whoever said that materialistic people are not happy in life!!!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Being a "Waiter"

Sunday evenings are meant to be spent in restaurants hogging on chicken masala and sucking the marrow of mutton legs!! ;)
So this evening, Myself and my pal decided to try something different... Go to a dhaba!!
Dhabas are quite few in Mumbai.. for that Uve to go on the outskirts.. We went to a dhaba at Dahisar, on the Mumbai-Ahmedabad highway..

It was an open air dhaba... which was overflowing with customers.. truck drivers.. college kids.. high end car owners.. all of them..
The waiter was a young guy.. maybe around about 16-17 yrs old.. And he was the only waiter around.. He moved around swiftly.. from table to table.. He was a master , i thought.. master at what he was doing..
Taking orders..

Aye.. ek chicken masala.. aur do roti

Ek mutton sukha aur 2 butter naan..

Arre ek chicken biryaani laana jyaada.. jyaada teekha nahi banaana ha..

Aree idhar 2 roti dena..

char naan..

ek chaas..


phew!!! Orders were being bombarded at him.. from left- right and centre.. from top-bottom-from front and behind.. everywhere..
Poor guy , i thought.. i hope he gets my order right..

He came at our table to take our order..

"Chicken Liver masala milega??"

"Milega na saahab.. sab milega... chicken masala.. mutton masala.. chicken liver.. mutton liver.. bheja masala.. chicken kheema.. mutton kheema... bhah blah blah!!"

"arre bas bas.. ek chicken liver masala.. 2 butter naan.. aur tu kya lega?? huh.. ok.. ek mutton masala aur do roti..."

"aur kuch saahab??"

"nahi bas.. ek baat poochni thee... Order baarabar laaega na?? Itni orders mein kuch adla-badli nahi karna.."

"Sawaal hi paida nahi hota saab.."

"Tujhe itni orders yaad kaise rehti hai re??"

He flashes an Orbit white smile..

"5 saal se yehi kar raha hoon saab.. aadat hai..."

and then he rushes to take order at another table...

In abt 15 mins.. our order was on our table.. we gobbled our way to glory!!

But that guy still remained on my mind.. How can he possibly remember all those orders.. its impossible for me to keep that in my mind..
Or can I??
Yes i can...

.....Rewind...... July 2005.... EMS ward , KEM hospital.......

Aye intern.. Seetabai ko Iv line daal..

Intern.. bed1 ka Hb,cbc, Rft, LFT, Ps for malaria bhej de jaldi..

Arre.. trolley patient ko folleys tube, ryles, iv line aur routine collections..

Parag.. Trauma patient ko dus min mein central line jaani chahiye..

Arre Raamji ka HBV,HCV,HepB,HIV bhej de fataafat..

Arre iska ABG kar.. sab patients ke reports trace karke aa...
I wasnt bad, was I ??? A good "Waiter" In the making???!! ;)

My reminiscences of 1993

Cut back to the winter of 1992-93...
It was a glorious winter.. i remember.. I was in fifth grade.. I had just started doing well in academics.. and had stood first in term ending exams... The winter of 92 was a time to celebrate... Time to enjoy.. And we had an extended vacation.. a pretty long one too..
I dunno why.. Id heard Dad discussing with mom about some babri masjid being demolished ...
Is it related to Babar dad?? I asked him.. yes.. he said.. and i know he must have felt happy at my innocence at that time.. and happy i was too.. I know Babar very well.. Ive topped in History too!!!!

I remember watching on the tv , thousands of people wearing saffron coloured clothes marching together.. They called themselves "kar sevaks".. they were hindus.. Oh even im a hindu.. But why are they demolishing a mosque?? Maybe its a dilapidated structure anyways.. thats why they are bringing them down so that they can rebuilt it... duh!! i Better watch a football game...

The next few days.. it was all over the newspapers.. mosque demolished.. riots have broken out in all parts of the country.. who cares?? I better go down and take the bat early, or i will get to bat last..
When the riots started in Mumbai.. oops.. Bombay.. My dad used to be at home..
I used to hear from him.. about how hindus were butchering the muslims and vice-versa.. This was all new to me.. at least after the Rajiv Gandhi assasination which occurred a couple of yrs back, just a few days before my birthday..
I was warned by mom not to venture out of the colony gate after 6... 6 pm was the time, when curfew used to begin in our area and the neighbouring squatters colony, which had a muslim population.. Id heard from the bigger guys that they had burned down a hindu a few days ago..
The colony gates used to shut and police vehicles used to patrol the entire area throughout the night..
Well anyways my life was within the protected premises of my society..
It was a fortress.. a fortress of ignorance that id built around myself..
I dont care a damn about Hindus or muslims!! I used to think.. as long as i get to enjoy my vacation-- correction--- an extended vacation, to the fullest!!

The entire day we used to play.. sometimes cricket, sometimes football.. or any other game we wud invent.. totally oblivious to the massacre that raged outside..
We were 10 year old ignorant innocent kids.. We were no Hindu.. or no Muslim..
Our only religion was our childhood.. which demanded us to be ignorant, and we were doing exactly the same thing..
My vacation lasted for about 2 months... 2003 began with the same incidences..
But this was something new.. I read in the newspaper about the entire chawls being burnt to ashes.. innocent kids like me, also shot.. burned and butchered.. i shuddered at the thought of me being in that situation.. come march and the new saga of terror in the face of serial bomb blasts had started.. I read about people's intestines being scattered at the place of the blasts..The bloodshed continued..
But for me, the trauma was momentary.. I used to immerse myself into my ignorance and moved on with life..

1993 was a long year for me..
It was a year when i saw AC Milan lose the european cup (the now champions league) to Olympique de Marseille..
It was a year when Alan Prost had piped Ayrton Senna for the F1 championship..
It was a year when Shawn Michaels had won the WWF world championship..
and it was a yr, when i stood first in the school for the first time..
In 1993, I was a 10 yr old.. Me, and the other 10 year olds of my class were raging their own battles.. A battles within themselves..
A 10 yr old had a lot many better things to do, than to care about the bloodshed..

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Black Friday - a conversation

Was watching black friday today on cable tv...
Just want to key down this engrossing dialect between Inspector Maria after he arrests Badshah khan, one of the bomb implanters..

[Reader discretion recommended-- ABUSIVE LANGUAGE!!]

Badshah khan tells Maria about why they had planted those RDX bombs which killed over 200 people in mMumbai..

"Humari Babri masjid itni naazuk nahi hai ki hathodon ki waar se gir jaaye aur hum kuch na kare...
Humare logon ko maara.. humaari aurton ki aabru looti.. chhote chhote bachchon ko goliyan maari..
Humne apni kaum ka badla le liya...
Allah humaare saath hai..."

"Allah is samay humaare saath tha"

"Kya baat karte ho saab... 400 hinduon ko maare hai humne , aur aap kehte hai allah aapke saath hai??"

"Allah humaare saath hai.. aur har ek sachche aadmi ke saath rahega...

Agar allah tumhaare saath hota, to tum woh maruti car waha nahi chhodte,
Agar tumhaare saath hota, to woh do bomb jo nahi fute, woh bhi futte..
agar tumhaare saath hota, to hum 3 mahine mein 200 arrests nahi karte
agar tumhaare saath hota, to humein ek bhi saboot nahi milta
agar tumhaare saath hota, to aaj tum and tumhaare saathi yaha nahi hote...
Allah farak nahi karta... farak to tum karte ho saalon...

allah tumhaare saath nahi tha.. tumhaare saath tha to Tiger memon..
Jisne tumhaare is gusse ka fayda uthaaya..
khud blast ke ek din pehle apne poore parivaar ke saath dubai chala gaya
aur chhod gaya tumhe.. dande khaane...

Usne tum logon ko chutiya banaya..
pata hai kyu?? kyun ki tum chutiye ho..

aur woh har ek hindu chutiya hai jo musalmaanon ko maarta hai
aur dharm ke naam par khoon karne waala har ek aadmi chutiya hai..
Kyunki tum jaise chutiyon ko aur koi kaam dhandha nahi hai...
jo Hum jaise police officers ka binaa soye bhukha rakhte ho.."

sataaakkk... maria slaps badshah who falls down .. and then he walks away...

Rat Tales

It was mid-June.. The first rains had started long back and Tarapur was already facing the brunt of the monsoon.. a gale at night was a regular feature, and water-logging had started around the PHC as its in a low lying area..

It was one of those days ... when there was load-shedding in the entire tarapur-chinchni area.. So as a rule, i spent my entire day in Boisar..
Sakil had ditched me (again!!) and had gone to mumbai for his guitar lessons.. But id a great time watching bhojpuri film "Kahi koi gavna hamaar" in the local theatre... (Another blog in the making ;)
By 8 pm.. i reached my PHC... struggled thru pitch black darkness and slippery muddy road all the way to my room.. Garfield and family were chatting outside.. and Garfield was having a candle-light booze session with his another garfieldish pal!! [Garfield: the appellation given to the husband of a nurse,who used to work in our PHC...Garfield cuz 16/24 hrs he used to laze around on his Khatiya outside his room.. the other 8 hrs were inside ;) ]
My dabba was already ready at the door step.. The electricity came by around 9 after which i took a hot water bath and had my dinner and prepared to doze off...

Just when i was about to doze off, humming to the U2 numbers blaring thru my cheap 40Rs speakers connected to my Ipod.. My MO , Dr.Vivek Gupta called up to tell me that he ll be coming to the phc for the night shift as it was a pulsepolio going on and he had to report early the next day... Thank God! I wont have to wake up tonight for any emergency case... Time to doze off.....

Dunno when it happened, but i felt a distinct tug at the back of my head..
Go away ditcher.. I mumbled in my sleep.. thinking it was Sakil who had come back in the morning.. The tugging got a bit more stronger..
Shooo.. B******... lemme sleep a******
And then it started hurting a bit..
Who the f*** are u!!!
I then tried to grab what was behind me.. trying to disturb my precious sleep on a windy, rainy night when the wind and the rain were merrily composing an orchestra on the asbestos roof...
It felt soft.. hairy.. small.. a soft toy?? I dont ve a soft toy.. I grabbed it in my hand and flashed my torch on it...

Holy shit!!!

There were 2 small eyes , glaring back at me.. menacingly.. they were horrendous.. they were yucky... and the creature with those eyes even had a tail.. a tail which was vigorously swaying around.. and 2 pairs of small feet.. that were struggling to let go off my dreamy sleepy grip... And those eyes meant business..
Ooops!! The creature proved to strong for me and i lost my grip.. and he fell right on my chest!!

Go away u f***ing rat!!!!

I hit him hard with the back of my hand... Thud!! I heard him banging against the wall..
Shit!! Is he dead?? I struggled to reach the switch to the 40 watt bulb in my room.. and turned it on.. and there i saw the devil.. up on the roof..
How did he get there?? so soon??
No buddy! he wasnt the same one... the one i just hit was in another corner.. and he was still glaring.. and now he had a vindictive look in those eyes.. he wanted to get me hard.. and get me back!!
Ok dude.. u win...
I frantically called up Dr.Vivek..


"hello.. Dr.Vivek??.. Parag here.."

" Ha bol Parag..."

"uh.. i have a small problem out here.. actually.. a big one.. Can i come over to ur room for the night? even Sakil's not here so was kinda feeling lonely.."

"Hey no problem.. come over.. we'll watch the Wimbledon together.."

"Ok thanx. bye"

Wimbledon???! What time is it?? Holy cow... its just 11???!! and i thought it must be hrs past midnight... aaaah thank God.. i have a whole 9 hrs of sleep left in front of me... :)

Then i gathered all my paraphernalia (read: spects, stethoscope,torch,ipod,watch and ha..umbrella).. and i braved the storm and an inverted umbrella to reach his room.. He was waiting outside..

"Hey dude.. what heppened??"

"Nothing re, there was a rat.. sorry.. a couple of rats in my room.. and bloody one of them was nibbling on my hair.. please, will you just check my head??"

I turned around.. and gave a boisterous laugh that id never heard from him for 15 days i was with him...

"Hey.. what happened??.. please tell me whats wrong.."

"Feel ur head.." he said, still laughing..

And i felt it.. everything was ok.. except a patch.. a distinct patch on my head where there were NO HAIR!!

Brilliant!!!!!! The Rat had his say after all..

As we spent the rest of the night watching federer thrash his opponent on the grass court.. I lamented from within my soul about my loss to a hairy, stinky, 4 legged "MONSTER"...

As for me.. i had an amazing sleep.. got up at 9 the next morning when the pulse polio inspectors were inspecting the phc and i was standing in front of them in a baniyan and shorts..Thank God Sakil had made it on time..
The hair grew all right.. the patch was just about 2-3 cm in diameter..

As for my MO Dr.Vivek, whenever he sms es me or scraps me on orkut.. he always mentions that,
"The rats in Tarapur still miss you.."

Yeah... and i miss them too!! :)